booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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