When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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