Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
