Your face is a jimmy john
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
