Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
