I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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