I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
