so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
