oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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