I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
