You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
