Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
