it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
