just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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