Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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