It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Who died my cat blue again?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
