6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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