you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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