Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we should paint friendship bongs
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
