Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
