You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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