You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
