McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So many bounce houses so little time
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
