The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He better not be in your backpack
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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