I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
