Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize