:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
