As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's official drugs can't kill me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
