btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need water and some morals
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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