life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
