I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
