At least make sure they are 18
Why
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i think my cat just said my name.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
