i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
