You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
