Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
