You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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