I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize