i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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