Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish you could order shots online.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
