forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize