But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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