Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
