Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
