ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
