I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
