I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
