Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
