Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
