She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't turn off my feet"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
