My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
