Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
