Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
