told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize