im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize