yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
