It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
