Say something about gay babies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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