my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
