1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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