Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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