her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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