sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You smell like stripper and shame
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
