He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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